Best Policemen jokes
Two policemen find 3 grenades.
- What do we do with them?
- We take them to the department.
- And if one explodes on the way?
- We say we found only two.
A police officer tries to stop a car for speeding, and the guy gradually increases his speed until it exceeds 100 mph.
The man finally realizes that he cannot escape and finally stops. The cop walks up to the car and says:
- It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go.
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says:
- My wife ran off with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to get her back!
One evening, on the street, an old woman shouted at the top of her lungs:
- Help! Help! thieves… Catch him fast….
A policeman who was nearby asked her in wonder:
- What's going on, madam? Did someone steal something from you?
- Yes, yes, look at the one running away over there, catch him...he wanted to rape me....
To which the policeman:
- It's nothing, madam, don't worry so much, another one will come...
- Where do you work? asks the policeman.
- Nowhere. I am unemployed.
- And you?
- I am his deputy.
A drunk goes to a policeman and says:
- Boss, I want to tell you a political joke.
- Can't you see I'm a policeman?
- It's nothing, I'll tell you until you understand it.
A policeman tries to stop a car coming towards him:
- Stop, don't you see that you don't have headlights, a belt, or numbers!?
- Move aside, I have no brakes.