Best Johnny jokes

John goes to the doctor and says:
- Hello!
- Hello, what does it hurt Mr. John?
John says:
- My back hurts when I wake up in the morning.
- Then wake up in the afternoon!

113 20

Little Johnny finds 100 lei in front of the window of the house. He takes them and quickly puts them in his pocket.
A citizen, passing by:
- You should hand them over to the police.
- That's not the case, they're my mother's.
- How do you know?!
- Dad always says that mom throws money out the window.

73 7

Johnny and Jimmy leave the church.
Johnny wonders if it's ok to smoke while praying. Jimmy answers:
- Why don't you ask the priest?
Johnny goes and asks him:
- Your Holiness, can I smoke while I pray?
But the priest says:
- No, son, you can't. It is disrespectful to our religion.
Johnny returns to his friend and tells him what the priest told him. Jimmy says:
- It does not surprise me. You asked the wrong question. I'll try it too.
Jimmy goes to the priest and asks him:
- Your Holiness, can I pray while I smoke?
To which the priest replies:
- Of course, son. Of course.

57 6

Johnny finds her sister kissing her boyfriend. He offers Johnny a 1000 $:
- You didn't see anything. You understand?
- All right, says Johnny returning 500 $.
- Why are you giving me 500 $ back?
- Why should you pay more than others pay?

50 2

The teacher asks the class:
- If you have a dollar and you ask your father for one more, how much money do you have?
Johnny raises his hand, the teacher lets him answer, and he says:
- One U.S. dollar.
- You don't know math, says the disappointed teacher.
- You don't even know my father.

33 3
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