- Please don't ywan when I am speaking to you! says the upset wife.
- But I'm not yawning, I'm just trying to say something...

A couple at the zoo. He says:
- Honey, do you see that hippo over there, behind the bars? And look what a big mouth he has...
- Yes, yes, I see!, she said.
- And you see, however, that he is silent...

In the first evening spent together, the groom says to the bride:
- As I found out, I'm not the first!
- As I found out, says the bride, you will not be the last...

- Honey, describe the love you have for me.
- It's like counting stars.
- Wow!... You mean infinite?
- No, waste of time.

Last night, my wife left a note on the refrigerator: "It doesn't work anymore, I can't take it anymore! I'm going to my mother!"
I opened the fridge.
The light inside came on and the beer was ice cold.
I don't know what the hell my wife was trying to say, the fridge worked great!

Late at night, the husband, drunk, comes home, his face full of lipstick and foundation. In the door, the wife, nervous.
- Honey, you won't believe me! I fought a clown!

Man to his wife:
- And you're late again, woman!
- A beautiful woman should be waited!
- I know, but why are you late?

My wife studied a little psychology. She always uses all her amateur psychology when we argue.
When I fired the boy who cleans the pools, she says, "Well, you know, you fire him just because he's so young and good-looking and you feel threatened and insecure because he reminds you of your own mortality and you project all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way because these feelings are just too traumatic to deal with.”
I said, "Honey... we don't have a pool."

The husband returns home late and tries to get into bed without waking his wife. The wife asks him:
- You came, come on? What time is it?
- 10.
- How "ten", if I heard the pendulum strike one?
- Well, what? Do you want it to beat zero too?!

- My dear, last night you shouted "No John, no". Who is John?
- What does it matter, didn't you hear that I refused him?