Best Army jokes
In the military, the commander to the enlisted soldiers:
- Is anyone else moving?
- The Earth.
- Who said that?
- Galileo Galilei.
- Galileo Galilei, one step ahead!!!
The colonel, smoking his dreamy cigar on the porch of the house, suddenly called out to his subordinate:
- John, come to me!
- Ordered, Mr. Colonel!
- John!... you are a country boy with sound judgment and I want you to tell me, if I have sex with my wife, is it considered pleasure or duty?
- Well, don' colonel... I think it's a pleasure!
- Why do you think this?
- You know, if it was a duty, you would have made me do it!
On the occasion of army recruitment, a young man, wanting to bribe the doctor, in order to escape from the army, puts a roll of banknotes in his bottom.
At the check-up, the doctor gropes him and gives the verdict: APT for military service.
Confused, the young man thinks that the doctor did not see the prepared surprise.
- Doctor, but I have hemorrhoids...
- You have, but not enough!