The snail is robbed by the turtle.
The police come and ask the snail "Can you tell us what happened?"
The snail says "I don't know man, it all happened so fast".

What is small black and has a yellow dot in the middle in front? A flea with a gold tooth on its face.

Two bat friends were sleeping. One of them wakes up around 2 in the morning and says to the other:
- Well, how was last night for you?
- I'm sorry...
- Why?
- I dreamed that I was lying down, my legs came off and I fell on my head. But how was it for you?
- More nasty.
- Why?
- I had diarrhea.

A cat enters a cafe, orders a coffee and a slice of cake. The waiter remains dumbfounded and the cat, noticing this, asks him:
- Did something happen?
- Well, you are a cat!
- Yes and?
- Do you speak!
- It seems normal to me and bring me the order, please!
- Okay, right away, don't be upset, but I've never seen anything like this before!
- I've never been here either. I'm looking for a job, I went to an interview and I wanted to have a coffee.
The waiter comes with the order, and he sees the cat buttoning the laptop!
- Have the coffee. Looking for a job, right? I'm asking you because my uncle is the director of the circus and he would hire you immediately!
- That circus with arena, dome, orchestra?
- Yes!
- Clowns, acrobats, elephants?
- Yes!
- Cotton candy, popcorn, lollies?
- Yes Yes Yes!
- Sounds tempting, but I don't see why they would need a programmer!

A man is walking through the woods and sees a sign in front of an old house that says - "Talking Dog For Sale".
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him that he found the dog in the yard.
The guy walks into the yard and sees a beautiful Labrador sitting there.
"You speak?" he ask him.
"Yes," replies the Labrador.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing the dog speak, he asks, “So what's your story?
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I found out I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time, they had me going from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one thought a dog could eavesdrop.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. But I got really tired and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport for doing some undercover security, wandering past suspicious characters and listening in. I discovered some incredible relationships and was awarded a batch of medals.
"I got married, had a bunch of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten bucks," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why are you selling it so cheap?"
"Because he's a big liar. He's never done anything he says."