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Two blondes are sitting at a bus stop.
One asks the other:
- Which bus are you taking?
- Number 1. And you?
- Number 2.
Bus number 12 arrives. One of them says to the other:
- Look, we're going together!

105 17

Johnny in biology class:
Teacher:
- Johnny , what happens if you cut off an ear?
- I don't hear with it anymore.
- Very good. And if you cut the other one too?
- I'm blind.
- Why go blind, Johnny ?
- My hat falls on my eyes.

145 17

Wife to husband:
- I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
- The good news.
- The good news is that your car's airbag worked perfectly.

73 7

A drunk guy pees on a pole. A lady comes and exclaims:
- Wow, what rudeness...!
- What about the length?

90 12

An 89-year-old man goes to the urologist:
- Doctor, he says, I need a vasectomy.
- A vasectomy? Why the hell would you need a vasectomy at your age?
- Well, doctor, I just married a beautiful woman of 22 years, and last night she told me that she is pregnant! I can't have more children at my age!
The doctor thought for a second and said:
- Let me tell you a story. A man went for a walk in the forest and saw a huge bear. The bear began to pounce on him. He must have thought it was lost, but at the last moment he crossed his fingers and the bear fell dead from a head shot.
The old man looked at the doctor in disbelief:
- Impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear!
- Exactly, said the doctor.

34 7

A lawyer goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. The lawyer is impressed, but asks:
- Are you sure it's my time? I'm not that old.
Saint Peter:
- What do you want to say? You are 86 years old.
- No, I don't... I'm only 58 years old. Why do you think I'm 86 years old?
- Well, I just added up all the hours you billed to your clients.

49 13

A girl knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a local swimming pool. So...I gave him a glass of water.

135 20

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