Couples jokes - 07/11/2022
Oh, John
- My dear, last night you shouted "No John, no". Who is John?
- What does it matter, didn't you hear that I refused him?
Blondes jokes - 27/10/2022
Blondes and the bus
Two blondes are sitting at a bus stop.
One asks the other:
- Which bus are you taking?
- Number 1. And you?
- Number 2.
Bus number 12 arrives. One of them says to the other:
- Look, we're going together!
Doctors jokes - 26/10/2022
A vet at the doctor
A vet goes to the doctor.
The doctor:
- Tell me what's bothering you.
Veterinarian:
- Well...like this is simple isn't it?
At school jokes - 23/10/2022
Blind
Johnny in biology class:
Teacher:
- Johnny , what happens if you cut off an ear?
- I don't hear with it anymore.
- Very good. And if you cut the other one too?
- I'm blind.
- Why go blind, Johnny ?
- My hat falls on my eyes.
Couples jokes - 16/10/2022
Good news
Wife to husband:
- I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
- The good news.
- The good news is that your car's airbag worked perfectly.
Drunk jokes - 10/10/2022
Rudeness
A drunk guy pees on a pole. A lady comes and exclaims:
- Wow, what rudeness...!
- What about the length?
Doctors jokes - 06/10/2022
An old man at the doctor
An 89-year-old man goes to the urologist:
- Doctor, he says, I need a vasectomy.
- A vasectomy? Why the hell would you need a vasectomy at your age?
- Well, doctor, I just married a beautiful woman of 22 years, and last night she told me that she is pregnant! I can't have more children at my age!
The doctor thought for a second and said:
- Let me tell you a story. A man went for a walk in the forest and saw a huge bear. The bear began to pounce on him. He must have thought it was lost, but at the last moment he crossed his fingers and the bear fell dead from a head shot.
The old man looked at the doctor in disbelief:
- Impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear!
- Exactly, said the doctor.
Lawyers jokes - 29/09/2022
Lawyer in heaven
A lawyer goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. The lawyer is impressed, but asks:
- Are you sure it's my time? I'm not that old.
Saint Peter:
- What do you want to say? You are 86 years old.
- No, I don't... I'm only 58 years old. Why do you think I'm 86 years old?
- Well, I just added up all the hours you billed to your clients.
Reflections jokes - 25/09/2022
When young
When I was young, I was very poor. After years of effort...I'm not young anymore.
A girl knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a local swimming pool. So...I gave him a glass of water.
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