Questions jokes - 09/01/2023
Why salt water?
- Why do fish live in salt water?
- Because the pepper makes them sneeze.
Questions jokes - 03/01/2023
100 eggs
What's green, has 100 eggs and sings?
Army Chorus.
Johnny jokes - 19/12/2022
Extension
Father to Johnny:
- What's new at school, boy?
- Nothing! They extended my contract for the 4th grade!
Couples jokes - 15/12/2022
No reason
Man to his wife:
- And you're late again, woman!
- A beautiful woman should be waited!
- I know, but why are you late?
Couples jokes - 12/12/2022
Psychology
My wife studied a little psychology. She always uses all her amateur psychology when we argue.
When I fired the boy who cleans the pools, she says, "Well, you know, you fire him just because he's so young and good-looking and you feel threatened and insecure because he reminds you of your own mortality and you project all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way because these feelings are just too traumatic to deal with.”
I said, "Honey... we don't have a pool."
Blondes jokes - 07/12/2022
Shopping
Mother says to her blonde daughter:
- My dear, go to the store.
Blonde: But what do I have to buy?
- You have to buy milk, cereal and chicken breast.
Blonda: Milk, cereal and chicken breast.
- Write it down somewhere so you don't forget!
Blonda: Let me remember, so milk, cereal and chicken breast.
On the road...
Blonda: Milk, cereal and chicken breast.
In the store...
Blonda: Milk, cereal and chicken breast. I will not forget.
The cashier asks her:
- Hello! What do you want to buy?
Blonde:
- Candy.
Questions jokes - 05/12/2022
December only
What does December have that the other months don't?
- The letter D.
Dirty jokes - 28/11/2022
Oh, no
A guy walks into a sex shop and studies an inflatable doll for minutes, then asks the seller:
- When is it produced?
- January, 2016.
- Ah, no...Capricorn!
Animals jokes - 21/11/2022
The heist
The snail is robbed by the turtle.
The police come and ask the snail "Can you tell us what happened?"
The snail says "I don't know man, it all happened so fast".
At school jokes - 15/11/2022
Mathematical problem
Teacher:
- Answer this math problem: If your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?
The student:
- A heart attack.
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