Drunk jokes - 14/05/2023
Shame
- Aren't you ashamed that the waiter brought you home at midnight?
- Well, if he wasn't free earlier...
Short jokes - 11/05/2023
At the exhibition
- You have a very beautiful dog, lady! Why don't you take him to an exhibition?
- Unfortunately, he is not good at art!
Doctors jokes - 09/05/2023
Home visit
The doctor, on a house call, goes into the bedroom with the patient, leaving the very agitated husband to wait outside.
Two minutes later, the doctor comes out of the bedroom and asks for a kitchen knife. The husband executes himself and the doctor disappears back into the bedroom. After a while he comes out again, this time asking for a hammer and chisel.
The husband runs downstairs and returns with a hammer and chisel.
Now the poor man was in a terrible state of agitation.
The doctor re-enters the bedroom, reappears after about five minutes.
- I'm sorry, he says. I'm afraid I need a crowbar.
- A crowbar?!! screamed the husband in a choked voice. What's the matter with her? Tell me, I want to know!
- I had no way to find out, said the doctor. I've been trying to open my kit ever since.
Blondes jokes - 19/03/2023
Delay
A blonde to her friend:
- I've had enough. I've been waiting for my boyfriend since five and now it's already a quarter to six.
- But what time were you supposed to meet?
- At four.
Short jokes - 16/03/2023
No smoking
The boss enters his workers:
- I told you: during work, don't smoke!
One of the workers, looking at the boss:
- But who works?
Short jokes - 15/03/2023
Ground for divorce
The lawyer:
- I understand you want a divorce, madam. What is the reason for this decision?
- He was not faithful to me.
- How so?
- I realized that he is not the father of my child!
Reflections jokes - 14/03/2023
Regime
I keep two regimes at the same time.
I don't have enough food with one...
Short jokes - 14/03/2023
Cure for insomnia
Two friends are talking:
- The psychologist recommended me a very good way to fall asleep quickly. I count to three and fall asleep instantly.
- So fast?
- Not always. Yesterday, for example, I counted to four in the morning!
Short jokes - 11/03/2023
Study
A group of 200 women were asked about the taste of kissing: which is sweeter, that of the husband or that of the lover?
Among the 200 women:
100 answered that their husband's kiss is sweeter;
100 answered that their lover's kiss is sweeter.
None of them answered "I don't know".
Questions jokes - 02/03/2023
In case of fire
What are the steps to take in case of fire?
Big steps.
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