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Two guys in prison:
- How old did they give you?
- 10...
- For what?
- I broke a window at work.
- Just for that? Where do you work?
- On a submarine...

38 3

Two new cellmates.
- Why did you get here?
- Because of smoking...
- How because of smoking?!
- While I was stealing, I got a cough, the guard heard me and they caught me!

25 3

- Aren't you ashamed that the waiter brought you home at midnight?
- Well, if he wasn't free earlier...

15 5

The doctor, on a house call, goes into the bedroom with the patient, leaving the very agitated husband to wait outside.
Two minutes later, the doctor comes out of the bedroom and asks for a kitchen knife. The husband executes himself and the doctor disappears back into the bedroom. After a while he comes out again, this time asking for a hammer and chisel.
The husband runs downstairs and returns with a hammer and chisel.
Now the poor man was in a terrible state of agitation.
The doctor re-enters the bedroom, reappears after about five minutes.
- I'm sorry, he says. I'm afraid I need a crowbar.
- A crowbar?!! screamed the husband in a choked voice. What's the matter with her? Tell me, I want to know!
- I had no way to find out, said the doctor. I've been trying to open my kit ever since.

21 0

A blonde to her friend:
- I've had enough. I've been waiting for my boyfriend since five and now it's already a quarter to six.
- But what time were you supposed to meet?
- At four.

22 7

The boss enters his workers:
- I told you: during work, don't smoke!
One of the workers, looking at the boss:
- But who works?

19 0

The lawyer:
- I understand you want a divorce, madam. What is the reason for this decision?
- He was not faithful to me.
- How so?
- I realized that he is not the father of my child!

19 1

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