Dark humour jokes - 28/11/2023
Who is he?
A funeral procession passes. A passer-by asks a blonde:
- Who is the dead man?
- I think the one in the coffin...
Short jokes - 21/11/2023
Inappropriate gift
- Do you like the tie I got you for Christmas? What do you think would suit it?
- A big beard to hide it!
Policemen jokes - 19/10/2023
Three grenades
Two policemen find 3 grenades.
- What do we do with them?
- We take them to the department.
- And if one explodes on the way?
- We say we found only two.
Couples jokes - 07/10/2023
Not the first
In the first evening spent together, the groom says to the bride:
- As I found out, I'm not the first!
- As I found out, says the bride, you will not be the last...
Differences jokes - 01/10/2023
The bachelor
- What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
- When the first falls in love, he wants to get married, and the second wants to divorce!
Couples jokes - 28/09/2023
Love
- Honey, describe the love you have for me.
- It's like counting stars.
- Wow!... You mean infinite?
- No, waste of time.
Miscellaneous jokes - 23/09/2023
At Heaven's door
In heaven, a priest arrives, where he's met by a couple of angels who offer a polite welcome.
Shortly after, a drunken bus driver arrives. His entrance is met with a grand celebration, complete with fireworks, and even God himself comes forward to greet him.
Perplexed, the priest approaches God and says:
- Forgive me, Lord, but I devoted my entire life to serving your church and your name. Why is my welcome so modest compared to this man?
God smiles and replies:
- My child, during your time, the church pews were seldom filled. However, when this man navigated the streets, people prayed fervently as never before.
Doctors jokes - 17/09/2023
Looking bad
The doctor:
- I don't like how you look at all.
The patient:
- Well, doctor, you're not a beauty either!
Policemen jokes - 10/09/2023
A good excuse
A police officer tries to stop a car for speeding, and the guy gradually increases his speed until it exceeds 100 mph.
The man finally realizes that he cannot escape and finally stops. The cop walks up to the car and says:
- It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go.
The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says:
- My wife ran off with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to get her back!
Doctors jokes - 08/09/2023
In silence
At the dentist:
- Doctor, have you forgotten that I have been sitting with my tongue out for 3 minutes?, says the irritated patient.
- I didn't forget, I just want to write your recipe quietly.
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